Blueprint Cleanse (Verdict: WOW!)

For the last 2 and ½ half years (250+ reviews) we have always written our reviews in the third-person. Although the review is predominantly generated by a single Spungle reviewer, the review is a composite of all of our comments- and as such, should not be written in the first-person. In addition, reading a review where every other sentence starts with “I,” gets pretty boring pretty quickly. With that said, this next product breaks the third-person rule. It is impossible for us to incorporate all of our comments when writing about something as personal as this next review. And so, without further ado, I bring you the Blueprint Cleanse.

I first learned about Blueprint Cleanse during Fashion Week 2007. A number of lux-bloggers had told me that they had prophylactically “detoxed” their systems before the week of partying. Being extremely intrigued by all things that can detox and still be luxury, I asked how they did it. Almost in unison, they exclaimed “We Blueprint Cleansed!” I put this into my iPhone and sat through the rest of the show feeling like a chunky-bump on a log since they all looked svelte, healthy, and rejuvenated. Winter came and passed, and while I really wanted to detox my body, I just wasn’t in the mood. I read a fab review by one of our favorite blogs, and it intrigued me, but still I couldn’t find 3, let alone 5, days to do the Cleanse.

Finally, I went to a black-tie dinner where I imbibed on dirty martinis like they were going out of style, chowed down on gruyere like the Swiss were about to be invaded, and sucked down a steak as if my entire hematocrit depended on it. The following morning I felt like death, and realized that I had to do something to change my habits. And with that, I picked up the phone, called Erica Huss, the President/Co-Owner of Blueprint Cleanse, and scheduled a 5-day cleanse. She warned me that I would need to “prepare,” and so I gave myself enough notice so that I could start phasing out my near-daily martini infusions and cheese eating-orgies.

When we talked about starting my cleanse, she asked 2 VERY important questions. What type am I and how long would I like to do it. My knee-jerk reply was “as easy as possible and for as short as possible.” But, after realizing that I was nose-diving on a crash-course with a cardiologist, I retracted my reply and was intrigued about what she meant by “type.” As per their site, there are three “types.”

“RENOVATION
I know what whole foods are, and I’ve seen people buying them. I would too, but I’m too busy to be choosy – my vegetable intake comes in the form of: Ketchup – “tomatoes” and French Fries – “potatoes.” Salad is found in EVERY cheeseburger I eat: it’s that green-ish color in the middle of the burger. Fruit? Easy, it’s the garnish on my cocktail, (usually an orange). I have cut back on red meat… and know I should only buy organic, free range, hand massaged meats and vegetables raised by people who smell like patchouli oil, but where do they even sell that stuff?

FOUNDATION
I don't know what I am! I’m not a vegetarian because I eat fish (but not the kind with mercury). I'm definitely NOT, nor will I ever be, a vegan - (I love a good cheese plate...and sometimes a salami plate). I try to eat a big salad everyday and limit those “bad-starches.” When I do have dessert, I order some sort of fruit based dessert, as opposed to that awesome flourless chocolate cake…that, sometimes I do order…but only because it’s flourless, …and a special occasion. But, that’s not even a big deal, cause’ I’ll just work it off at the gym the next day.

EXCAVATION
I am extremely conscious of everything I put into my body. I exercise, I don’t make drinking a habit, and I eat organic. Am I a vegan? A raw foodist? I’m not into labels – so, when people ask me that question, I simply reply: ‘I eat what I want, when I want it." I don’t consider choosing my food wisely, “missing out.” My only rule is: If it doesn’t make me feel healthy and zaps my energy, I don’t eat it. I’m not trying to live forever; I just want to make sure that while I am alive, I feel as good as I possibly can!”

Since my recent habits weren’t commensurate with my fund of knowledge, I decided to go with the middle of the road and I said that I needed a “Foundation.” In addition, I’ve never had anyone but a gastroenterologist wielding a colonoscope talk about excavation, so I really didn’t want to find out Blueprint’s definition of excavation.

Being that the next question was about length, which meant how long could I last without a morsel of solid food, I gave this one some serious thought. I grilled her on whether people actually survive for 3 days, as to how many cookies I could eat if I needed to cheat, and what if I really wasn’t happy. She told me that I should do the cleanse for as long as my schedule and purse (j/k) would allow. Erica promised me that I would be just fine, and that I would be able to run, jump, play and work like normal, and that it was totally up to me. (I know, sounds like a tampon commercial, but she really did make all those lofty promises). So, after finding a block of time where I didn’t have to fly, because I didn’t know if this stuff was going to give me explosive “back-fire,” I decided to take the plunge and do a 5-day cleanse.

In preparation of my commitment to a healthier me, 30 days prior, I started cutting back on red-meat, liquor, beer, candy, street-meat, Nuts for Nuts, soda, and all the other things that kept me busy during the day. I simultaneously started phasing in fruits, vegetables, fish, and exercise. Before I knew it, I was losing weight. In the 28 days before I started I lost 6lbs. I was feeling better, looking better, and quasi-keen about the idea of giving up food for 5 days.


In the days preceding my cleanse I received an email from Blueprint saying “LISTEN UP! NO farewell-to-solid-foods-with-a-steak-and-martini dinner the night before you start. You will NOT be a happy camper by the end of Day One. And that's a promise. So start now!” At that moment there was an audible sound from my anal-sphincter closing up. I realized I had no clue what I was in for, and that there were probably going to be lots of feelings, even possibly an “un-happy camper” feeling. Having grown-up in the Boy Scouts, I know what it feels like when you’re dared to eat 20 Slim-Jims only to realize that there are no toilets in the woods. I was seriously doubting my decision to find the new me.

Being that there really wasn’t anything I could do, I decided to take this in stride, and alerted my doorman that three bags of “juice” would be arriving the night before my cleanse. I asked that he call me ASAP because they needed to go right to the fridge. Much to my pleasure, Blueprint called me to say that they were 15 minutes away with my delivery, and so I was able to perfectly time the elevator and my doorman’s receipt of the electric-green cooler bags.

I brought these bags up to my apartment (via the elevator since they were freaking heavy), and loaded up my fridge with 18 bottles- all labeled 1-6 and in shades of colors that I never knew were edible.

Juice 1 was an extremely intimidating concoction of all things green with a leaf. Juice 2 was a nice fruity blend of things that have the word “apple” in it. Juice 3 was the scary twin of Juice 1. Juice 4 was lemonade with a cayenne kick. Juice 5 was the evil triplet of Juices 1 and 2. And lastly, Juice 6 was a protein packed nut cactus milk. Staring at my sustenance for the next 3 days I savored every bite of my “farewell” salad, and went to bed unsure of what the following day would bring.

I started this cleanse on Friday, and decided to work from home. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I didn’t want to be in the office with everyone talking about his dinner plans while heating up their lunches. To be honest, Day 1 of the cleanse wasn’t nearly as bad as I had expected.

I started my day with the recommended warm water with lemon, and before I knew it, I was guzzling my first green evil triplet. The taste was not nearly as evil as it looked by the ingredients, and before I knew it, I had completed my first juice. I drank a healthy helping of spring water, and went off to the gym. While working out I did notice a “cha-cha pang” or two, but didn’t have to hit the can until I got home. And when I did get home, I really wasn’t in any distress nor was there a mess. Realizing that it had been 2 hours since my first infusion of health, I cracked open number 2, and guzzled it down.

Again, I drank a whole bunch of water for the next few hours, and got to work. Everything was A-OK. By lunchtime I was a little hungry, and went to the fridge for another evil triplet. The taste was oddly familiar, and before I could comment as to whether I would stick with this diet, I realized I was already halfway through day 1!

In the afternoon, I made some herbal tea, read some blogs, and by the time I was getting a little hungry, was ready for #4. Now, mind you, this is the time of the day when I would leave the office (or home) to go get a snack on the street. Instead, I had my lemonade happily waiting for me. I opened it up, and within a millisecond of it hitting my well-refined palette, I was feeling energized! I slurped and burped that juice down, and felt like I could pump out a million and 1 Spungle reviews. Amazing how alive I felt! And still, no pooh-pooh issues!

Finally, it was getting close to dinnertime, and that’s when it was time for another evil triplet. This time, it didn’t go down so smoothly. Somehow, I realized that I was eating the same thing for breakfast/lunch/dinner and only changing the mid-meal snacks. I felt “cheated” and thought about cheating!

Luckily, Blueprint sends you a list of “safe cheats” in the preparatory email, and so I was well stocked for my stealthy, healthy, addendum to the cleanse. And, just as I opened up the package of celery, I realized, that I didn’t need to cheat. That, not only was celery already in the evil triplet, but that by cheating I was really cheating myself. I had committed to creating a new me, and as such, couldn’t bring myself to cheating the system! So, I put down the celery, and drank the last evil triplet of the day like a good boy.

By the time that my good friend Larry King was about to come on, I realized that I still had one more bottle to go. I went to the fridge, shook up the nut elixir, and took a taste unsure of what to expect. To be honest, I wish I could have seen my face. This thing was delicious! It was rich, creamy, nutty, and everything that I needed all day long! I quickly realized that each day did indeed have a reward, Juice #6. And as long as I kept rewarding my body by sticking to the cleanse, I would be able to reward my dopamine pathways every night with this glorious blend of cleansing holiness.

Day 2 was pretty uneventful, and since it was a Saturday, I was able to repeat the activities of Day 1. Day 3 was actually even easier than Day 2, and I realized that I wasn’t hungry anymore. Instead of drinking when I was hungry, I was drinking when I was supposed to. I was looking at the clock, spacing out the juices, and really have a good experience. In fact, I even went to brunch with my member of my family, and wasn’t even tempted by their bacon/eggs/cheese sandwiches. Instead, I happily drank my evil triplet, and went about my business. Day 4 was even easier than 3, and by the time Day 5 rolled around, I was kind of sad that only had 3 evil triplets left in my arsenal of health. By the end of Day 5 I was excited for the variety of food, but also scared by what I could do to myself by resuming my love of mastication.

By the end of Day 5 I had lost 18lbs since 37 days before, with 12 of those pounds on this 5-day cleanse. I did not partake in the colonics and the laxatives, and as such, am sure that I could have lost a few more pounds, since everyone says I’m “full of sh*t!”

However, taken together, now 5 days after the cleanse, I feel like a million bucks. What’s amazing about the cleansing process is that you come out of it feeling a sense of accomplishment. I now think twice before stuffing my face. I slowly eased back into “regular” foods as recommended by the folks at Blueprint, but I’m resistant to let my new “regular” foods be my old foods. Instead, I’m snacking on nuts, to satiate my subtle cravings for Juice #6. I’m eating more fresh fruits (sans cayenne) to satiate my mid-day pangs of hunger. And most importantly, I’m thinking twice about everything I put in my pie-hole.

In summary, the Blueprint Cleanse is an amazing experience. While I’m still scared by what could have happened had I chosen to excavate, I’m an absolute believer in rewarding your body with a clean and natural Blueprint Cleanse. I feel healthier, my friends say I look so much better, and I surely have more energy. In just these short 5 days post-cleanse, I’ve found myself longing for the gym, and focusing on healthy options. I’m sure that I’ll do this again when I slip into the inevitable doldrums of winter, because this has proven to me, that it can pull me from a rut. So, if you’re looking to change your look, and change how you feel, and you’ve read this review from top to bottom, then your next step should be getting on the Blueprint Cleanse website to start on the new you!

Sincerely,
Brian A Levine
Founder, Editor in Chief
Spungle